The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
