one might say we're banned from that church
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
