YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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