I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
