he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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