I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
