I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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