so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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