why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
