well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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