I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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