We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
