Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize