you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
