Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Less talking, more tequila
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
