What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
COCAINE IS GR8
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
