She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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