And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
