Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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