I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
