Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
