Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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