she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize