woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
