dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
