I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
