My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
