Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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