Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
