There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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