Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
