it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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