I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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