Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
