just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
