come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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