i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
