Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
