Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
