i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
