so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
