She is in my trunk
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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