Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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