it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
