I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize