if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
