remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
