I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
