he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
