im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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