i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
