i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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