in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
