he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
