Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
