Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
