Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
