I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We are two peas in an std pod
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
