So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
