At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
