Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
