this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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