last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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