Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
