Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
