so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
