I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
