your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
