you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
