Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
