girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
