A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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