Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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