Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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