East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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