Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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