I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
