I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
