school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
